It's All About Perception...


60 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Montana plant gardens.

50 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Billings sunbathe.

40 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Montana drive with the windows down.

32 above zero:
Distilled water freezes.
The water in Fort Peck gets thicker.

20 above zero:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Montana throw on a flannel shirt.

15 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Montana have the last cookout before it gets cold.

People in Miami all die.
Montanans close the windows.

10 below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Montana get out their winter coats.

25 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Montana are selling cookies door to door.

40 below zero:
Washington, DC runs out of hot air.
People in Montana let the dogs sleep indoors.

100 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Montanans get frustrated because they can't start the Mini-Van.

460 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.)
People in Montana start saying..."Cold 'nuff fer ya?"

500 below zero:
Hell freezes over.

Montana public schools are closed.

Contributed by Raymond Sansonetti


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